Chapter 37

Cathy's secret

01 We stayed till the afternoon. I could not get Miss Cathy away before. Luckily my master had remained in his room, and knew nothing of our long absence.

02 Next day, though, the truth came out. I was not altogether sorry. I thought the responsibility of directing and warning my young lady could be borne better by her father than by me, but he was too cautious in giving reasons why she should avoid the people at the Heights, and Cathy liked good reasons for anything that interfered with her having her own way. At last Mr Linton told her shortly of Heathcliff's treatment of Isabella. She appeared so astonished and upset at this new view of human nature, that he thought it unnecessary to say any more about it.

03 She kissed her father, and sat down quietly to her lessons for an hour or two, then she went with him for a walk in the grounds, and the whole day passed as usual. In the evening, though, when I went upstairs to help her undress, I found her crying on her knees by the bedside.

04 'Silly child!' I exclaimed. 'If you had any real griefs, you'd be ashamed to waste a tear on a little thing like this.'

05 'I'm not crying for myself, Ellen,' she answered. 'It's for Linton. He'll be so disappointed if he doesn't see me again.'

06 'Nonsense!' I said. 'He will guess what has happened, and trouble himself no further about you.'

07 'But may I not write a few words to tell him why I can't come? And just send those books I promised to lend him?'

08 'No, indeed,' I replied with decision. 'Then he would write to you, and there would never be an end to it.'

09 'But how can one little letter ... '

10 'Silence!' I interrupted. 'We'll not begin your little letters. Get into bed.'

11 She gave me a very naughty look, so naughty that at first I would not kiss her goodnight. I covered her up and went away, shutting the door; but a little later, feeling sorry, I returned softly, and what did I see but Miss, standing at the table with a bit of blank paper and a pencil in her hand, which she guiltily slipped out of sight, when I came forward.

12 'You'll get nobody to take that, if you write it,' I said.

13 I put out her candle as I spoke, receiving as I did a little blow on my hand, and the name of 'disagreeable thing'.

14 Weeks passed, and Cathy recovered her temper, though she became wonderfully fond of creeping off into corners by herself and reading some book which she would bend over to hide if I came near, and which seemed to have sheets of paper pushed between the leaves. She also got a habit of coming down early in the morning to the kitchen, as if she were expecting something, and she had a small drawer in a cupboard in the library which she would examine for hours, and whose key she took special care to remove when she left.

15 One day, as she examined this drawer, I noticed that the little playthings and other small possessions that had formerly been kept in it, had mysteriously been changed into bits of folded paper. My curiosity and suspicions were awakened, so at night I found among my keys one that would fit the lock, and made an examination of her treasure.

16 The drawer contained a mass of daily letters from Linton Heathcliff, answers to messages written by my young lady. I tied them up in a handkerchief, and re-locked the empty drawer.

17 Next morning I watched Miss Cathy go down to the kitchen and rush to the door on the arrival of a little boy who came to fetch milk. While the maid filled his can, Miss Cathy put something in his pocket, and took something else out. I followed the boy out into the garden, and succeeded in seizing the letter, though he fought bravely to defend his trust, and we spilt the milk between us. I remained under the wall and read it. It was more simple and sincere than those of her cousin; very pretty and very silly.

18 The day was wet, so at the end of her morning studies Cathy went straight to her drawer to amuse herself. Her father sat reading at the table, and I, on purpose, was mending the border of a curtain by the window, keeping my eye fixed on all that happened.

19 Never did any bird flying back to a nest robbed of its young ones, express more complete despair in all its cries, than she by her single 'Oh!'

20 Mr Linton looked up.

21 'What is the matter, my dear?' he said. 'Have you hurt yourself?'

22 'No, Papa,' she replied with difficulty. 'Ellen! Ellen! Come upstairs—I'm sick!'

23 I obeyed her call.

24 'Oh, Ellen, you have got them,' she began at once. 'Oh, give them to me, and don't tell Papa! I've been extremely naughty, but I won't do it any more!'

25 'I'm going with them to the library,' I replied, 'and we'll see what your father says to this rubbish.'

26 She tried to take them from me, but I held them above my head. She begged that I would burn them—do anything rather than show them. At last, since I was as ready to laugh as to scold, I said:

27 'Will you promise faithfully neither to send nor receive a letter again, nor a book, nor curls of hair, nor rings, nor playthings?'

28 'We don't send playthings,' cried Cathy, her pride defeating her shame.

29 'Not anything at all, then, my lady!' I said.

30 'I promise, Ellen!' she cried, catching hold of my dress.

31 But when I began to put them on the fire, the sacrifice was too painful.

32 'One or two, Ellen; to keep for Linton's sake!'

33 I continued to drop them on the flames.

34 'I will have one, you cruel thing!' she exclaimed, putting her hand into the fire, and drawing out some half-burnt pieces, with some damage to her fingers.

35 'Very well—then I'll have some to show Papa!'

36 At that, she emptied her blackened pieces into the flames and without speaking went away to her own room. I went down to tell my master that the young lady's attack of sickness was almost gone, but I judged it best for her to lie down for a time. At tea, she appeared, pale, and red about the eyes, and wonderfully quiet.

37 Next morning, I answered the letter from Linton by a piece of paper on which was written: 'Master Heathcliff is requested to send no more letters to Miss Linton, as she will not receive them.'

38 And from that time, the little boy came and went with empty pockets.